Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Houston, we have a squirter
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
