Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
