Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I just cut my nipple shaving
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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