You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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