Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Randomize
