A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Randomize
