his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
