idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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