im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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