the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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