Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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