Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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