I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize