dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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