Having a random hookup so left but love u
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
