I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
