Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
This is my life. Enjoy the view
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
