Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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