Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
