if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
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