Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
