i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Drunk is not a location!
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
