he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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