It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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