i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
my shit smells like andre
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize