I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
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