I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
