Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
