I would go down on you faster than GM stock
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
