i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
