I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
