Dual....:-)
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Randomize
