You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
