google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Randomize