I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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