Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
