first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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