You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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