I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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