i will never coherently bang her
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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