Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
