Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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