Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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