i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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