and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
And then my night got REAL pukey
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I'm too high and old for this...
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
