the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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