working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
