I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
