and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
