My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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