Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
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