I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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