It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
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