Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
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