rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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