"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
