If i come over, it means nothing
Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
