Where is the hickey?
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
