I think my vagina is haunted
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
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