coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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